euphoria
by junkii
Summary: [HikaruxKaoru oneshot][Slight OOC perhaps] Euphoric was a word in which Kaoru had longed to use. But when things threaten the world of 'Us', can the younger Hitachiin twin ever find euphoria?


**a/n; **Aha. Ouran Koukou Hosutobu/Hitachiin Hikaru + Kaoru/Suoh Tamaki/Ootori Kyouya/etc. belong to Bisco Hatori/BONES. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. I only own the story, sorry. Well. At least I hope I do. It's all a work of art, you know. Sorry for my bad grammar/spelling. Not the best when you only have WordPad, and such a thing does not have SpellCheck. Too lazy to use SpellCheck anyhow. Enjoy, please.

* * *

**euphoria;  
**

_ n. A feeling of great happiness or well-being.  
_

Kaoru sighed, looking at the term in the dictionary for what had to be the fifth time in the whole hour. His mind kept lingering over the word. Euphoria. How was it to feel so euphoric? Was it just indescribable? Was it the best feeling next to love? The young sixteen year old wished he could find out. 'Happy', 'fine', 'alright' was more in his lines of vocabulary.

But...'euphoric'. Such a definition lingered hours after, as he sat on the queen-sized bed in a shared room in the Hitachiin manor.

He cracked another smile, dainty fingers turning the page of the novel he had been reading as he looked up the word. Euphoric was something he wished he could say. He felt eyes watching him, watching every singular movement as cells focused on fingers to turn pages, as eyes processed printed words on recycled paper, reading and speaking mentally the words flowing in sentences. He could feel it, and he knew just who was watching him.

"If you took a picture, it may last longer, Hikaru," the younger identical twin whispered, breaking the fragile silence. Voice lingered into air, a low and solid laugh escaping the other's lips as it processed. Another grin and Kaoru sighed, marking book as he looked up.

"How are you feeling, Kaoru?" the older asked, tilting head as chin rested in palm, stomach lying on blankets as he looked up at his twin to meet his eyes. The younger had caught a cold, cooping up in their shared room to spend time catching up with the novel _Lolita _that he had decided to pick up. The younger rolled his eyes, stretching a bit as he set the book on the nightstand, letting eyes wander down at the other.

"Fine," Kaoru remarked, lips quivering upward as he blushed just slightly when Hikaru took one of his dainty hands, the same hand that turned pages moments prior. The other grinned back, the emotion of worry flashing through mirror eyes, the other closing them to kiss the back of the other's hand. "I'll be better soon. I feel...I feel fine."

"I'm sure. But your fever still means your sick in the medical books," Hikaru replied, laughing just slightly as he ran a hand through Kaoru's hair, fingers brushing through locks as he grinned again. Night had already fallen an hour or so earlier, Hikaru staying by his younger brother's side the whole day. It had been the weekend, no Host events arranged for the two day 'break' that was offered every week. A sigh, the older still worried when his twin had fallen ill that Wednesday. He had suggested he take the rest of the week off with Kaoru, but their mother would have none of it.

So spending time during the free hours was what Hikaru planned to do. Making sure he got the amount of medicine needed, that he was being cooled so his fever would go down. Kaoru, on the other hand, just spent his time reading; very intrigued with the novel suggested by Kyouya; the Shadow King as the twins decided to name him. The more devilish of the two sighed once their phone rang, the all familiar ring tone belong to 'milord', Suoh Tamaki.

"Yes, milord?" Kaoru asked, answering it before the other could reach over to the blue phone. Hikaru looked at the other with intent, watching as he laughed just lightly, sinuses clogged a little, the younger sometimes pausing for a coughing fit. "Mhm, yes. No...I...I think we'll have to cancel Sunday. I'm...still not well. But if Hikaru want-...oh, no he says no as well. Yes, he's shaking his head as I speak. Would you wish to talk to him, Tamaki?"

Kaoru's voice had always been light. Airy, almost angelic in tone at times. Hikaru found it appealing, knowing it suited the selfless of the two more than it would ever suit him. Hikaru had the deeper voice, the masculine while Kaoru was the feminine. Yin and yang they were, as were almost all twins. Polar opposites that completed the other. Hikaru noted how airy it was when Kaoru was conversing with the blond Prince Type, smiling a little when he took the phone.

-- -- -- -- --

Euphoric...was far from what the younger twin could ever be. He knew Hikaru was always euphoric in some sense, only getting depressed if Haruhi chose to ignore him, or if Kaoru was talking to someone else. The younger of the two could sense it, knowing how well the other is; almost knowing Hikaru better than he knew himself. A smile was always given to him, a smile always returned but not felt.

However, perhaps it was the fact the younger of the two was sick that he wasn't euphoric. Though when he was sick, he thought more. The more he thought, the more his mind dwelled on the world of 'us' and 'them'. They were falling apart, Kaoru could easily tell. As more Host Club members became aware of their romantic feelings toward the only female Host, Kaoru could tell each premade carriage was slipping off the hinges. Each carriage was slowly returning to a pumpkin, each member slowly becoming separate and growing as a whole.

The youngest Host was fearful. Fearful of the outcome that such a fact was having. If the carriage of 'us', the carriage of Hikaru and himself, was slipping away and fading into a pumpkin...what will Kaoru do in the end? He sighed, finding himself in Hikaru's hold as night sky filled in from the balcony, moonlight the only source of light besides the stars. Lamps had clicked off, darkness filling the room as the door remained shut. Kaoru felt his brother's arms around him, feeling content and at ease. His fever had nulled, the sickness wearing off after a few hours, completely gone miraculously. As he felt his brother's breath on his forehead, he continued to wonder.

What if such a breath wasn't there come next year? Come what may, they would always remain biological twin brothers no doubt, but...if they were to separate, and their precious carriage turned into a pumpkin...what would _Kaoru _do? Of all people, would Hikaru abandon him? Questions made him sleepless; many a night in which he had gone hours without sleep, just thinking of outcomes and his future.

Thus, every night a tear would fall. Soundless, no whimpers or sobs to go with it. Though it was there, a reminder that he had to not let loose, to hold his calm in front of his darling twin. Though this night was a different night. A soft cry escaped his lips along with the tears, fingers clutching the shirt fabric his brother was wearing. Almost on instinct, the other woke up.

"Kaoru...? Kaoru...K-...Kaoru!" Hikaru whispered, shaking the other as if it were a bad dream. Kaoru looked up at him, sad eyes that were never shown before to the other. The older blinked, watching as the younger wiped his eyes, trying to move as if he didn't want the other to see. Though the damage was shown, and Hikaru would have none of it. "Kaoru, what's...what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm...I'm fine. Bad dream, is all," Kaoru said quietly, almost inaudible as he pulled away. Hikaru held onto him, turning his face with delicate hands, afraid of shattering the fragile twin in his arms. Eyes connected, the gaze unbroken as silence filled the air in between them. Again, the younger attempted to break away, and again the other wouldn't have it. "Hikaru, I'm fine..."

"You aren't. Tell me now, Kaoru. Just what is it?!" the other demanded, voice loud enough for the other to hear, but not loud enough to disrupt the family sleeping in the mansion. Ah, if only Kaoru had not been so careless with his tears. If only it had been hidden every other night as he dreaded the outcomes. He looked up at him, lip starting to quiver in the slightest as tears sprouted out of the corner of his eyes again.

"Don't leave me, Hikaru. Promise me you won't leave me. Just...just don't let it turn into a pumpkin, please," he rattled, holding onto him as he buried his face into the older's shoulder. Hikaru blinked as he looked past him, holding on for support to reassure the other at least he wasn't going away. He was confused, easily said. He hadn't a clue what his brother was prattling on about, yet he would mend it. Hikaru would always make sure to mend anything broken about Kaoru. "Don't, please..."

"I won't. The world of 'Us' is far better than stupid 'Them', anyway. I won't leave, Kaoru, I won't," Hikaru replied, closing his eyes as he held the other. Though he wasn't completely sure, he had a vague idea what the other was crying about. A fever had subsided, and tears replaced such a thing. Hikaru mended a fever, and he was sure set on mending the tears rolling down Kaoru's face, into the clothing Hikaru was wearing.

Minutes, what seemed like hours, had passed. The crying stopped, Hikaru wiping the tears as he smiled gently. Kaoru smiled back, closing an eye when Hikaru kissed his forehead. It had been many a time the scene had played out, Kaoru scared of the little things children were scared of; such as monsters under the bed and in closest. Many a year ago it had been since the scene had played out; and now about eleven years later, it was playing again. Fear of the future, rather than the imaginary. "Kaoru, I love you. More than I should, but I do. You...you should know this by now, and-"

"...and I love you too," Kaoru whispered, blinking as another moment's silence passed. A grin, Kaoru hugging the other again as midnight struck. A bell tolled from the Entrance, the clock sounding off the hour in which carriages turned into pumpkins. However, such an hour was lucky for the others. They made it just in time, thankfully. Just in time before Cinderella could leave a glass slipper, and the dream ended.

After the bell tolled, Hikaru grinned again. A kiss to the cheek, and another kiss to the hand as brother's lay next to each other in the bed they shared for sixteen years. Hands enclosed with each other, as Hikaru asked one last question for the other.

"So now how do you feel, Kaoru?"

"...Euphoric."


End file.
